From navel gazing to stepping out in faith....

I am so sorry! I thought to myself, “I will update this blog every weekend.” My teachers thought to themselves, “We will bombard her with homework this weekend.”
That’s what happens when different worldview collide.

I must start off by saying how much I love, nay, adore my heavenly Father! He knows exactly how much I can take. He brings me to that breaking point so that I am holding on to nothing but Him and then let s me rest and reflect on what he had taught me. Without these times for rest and reflection, I would be unable to be so incredibly wowed by all that He has done in my life.

In these first three weeks of transition God has challenge many of my assumptions about him and about those around me. He has proven to me that He is in control of my friendships and new relationships with others. He has shown me, or at least begun to show me, how awesome and powerful he really is in everyday life. He is not in the box I try to put Him in, nor does he require me to lift the lid for him to get out! He has even begun to work on the touchy subject of guys as friends and assured me that, again, he is more powerful than my flirtatious failures. God is so good!

However, being a self-focused, self-absorbed human, I start to get too focused on navel gazing and the world quickly starts to look like it’s revolving around me. My attentive Father is attuned to my weak flesh though, and as I was standing in worship Friday evening, God started speak to me about my fellow classmates and sharing this amazing life I have in God with them. Quickly my eyes turned back out where they were supposed to looking in the first place.

I am in the unique position of have a set group of classmates that I will be taking classes side by side with for the next two or three years. We all entered in education program during the same quarter and because of the structured class schedule of all Elementary School student teachers, we will all be progressing at, roughly, the same pace. This means I have an incredible opportunity to be a witness for the next several years and they can’t escape! But I recognize I must begin as I mean to go. If I stay quietly in the background it will be hard to step up and out in the coming months and years. So here I am at a crossroads with two clear choices lying before me. Should I quaver and quake with the unknown of how God might ask me to be bold in my faith? He might ask me to make a public declaration, or evangelize to someone one on one. What if I fail? What if they hate me? I will have three years of hate if that’s the case….

On the other road, however, is the knowledge of what God has already revealed to be about his character. He loves to use my strengths and passions; after all He gave them to me in the first place. He loves to show me new strengths I never knew I had before. He doesn’t throw me into situations and then watch to see if I drown or swim. He gently leads me by the hand and asks me to step into situations along with Him. This road also leads to saying “yes” before I actually know what I’m saying yes to, it’s a road of faith.

This is the road I’ve chosen to take. God has awakened a desire to share my love for him with others. It was His idea, he will be the one to guide my steps, all I have said is “yes, yes I will be the vessel.” I cannot wait to see what will happen. I cannot wait to see more of God’s character through this time. I cannot wait t for the pain of serving others to bring forth delicious fruit. God is so good; how can I not say yes…?